Being busy catching up is stealing so much from us. The hard truth is, we will never catch up. Life can go so many different ways, and to me, this is where its beauty is. However, this beauty brings about the challenge of coming to terms with having some things, but not others. It brings about the hard times of making compromises, of evaluating trade-offs. This is no issue when we are younger and feel on top of the world. But it comes in full swing as we begin to realise that neither time is boundless, nor is energy.
It is very easy to mourn this realisation, as I did at first. I've disappointed this child, this adolescent I was. I promised them the stars and delivered nothing. I've been telling them nothing is impossible, yet the field of possibilities has suddenly shrunk. What was I to do? Life seemed over. I was in a lot of struggle reconciling the notion that we need to stop the adventuring altogether with being a “proper adult”. Little did I know this might well be the true beginning of life.
While younger, we get to dip our toes in whatever we fancy. And this is the purpose of that stage of life. We are getting to know the world, getting to know ourselves. So that when the time comes, we know what (and who) to commit to. I now see "adulting" as exactly that - we don't stop exploring and experimenting altogether (what a ton of nonsense I was trying to make myself believe earlier!), but we give ourselves a bit more focus.
And I can't lie, this can be a scary path. Maybe that’s why some people choose not to grow up. In the end, how do we know we are committing to the right thing? To the right person, the right career, the right lifestyle? Those who have managed to get to know themselves quite well at the earlier life phase of exploration might not need to give it much thought. But whoever struggled with that part, would be left in the dark.
That’s the moment when we should try not to freak out, and should instead make the time and effort to explore. Most of all, we should keep reminding ourselves exploration is in our blood. It does not end with commitment. Yes, the more committed you are, the harder it is to change course. But not impossible.
Come to think of it, maybe I did not mislead my younger self. Everything is possible, even if not exactly as we have imagined it. Everything is possible, just not everything at once. Seems like we just need to commit to something and see where it leads. And if we don’t like where we are taken, we just go back to the drawing board and make the best use of that new knowledge.